Thursday, March 10, 2016

Just Curious, Why is it Always About Men?

Good morning! Although I primarily post about recipes, books and travel I occasionally write a post about things that I'm thinking about or that bother me. For instance last week I posted about The Lost Art of the Thank You Note;  aapparently I am not alone in my thinking about the loss of common courtesies.

Lately, and I do not know if it is age, hormones  or perhaps someone sending me a message(I hope not) I have been seeing articles with titles like these everywhere. 

How to Make Your Husband Happy
25 Ways to Please Your Man
15 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Special
10 Ways to Praise Your Husband
100 Random Acts of Kindness for Your Husband

And by everywhere I mean EVERYWHERE, on Pinterest, in magazines, in the newspaper, and online. I'm just curious why there are so many articles with titles like these? Isn't a relationship about two people? Where are the articles about making your wife feel special or validated or beautiful?

I have been with my husband 22 years and I have never had to consciously do anything of these things. I remember once, when Oprah was still on she had a panel discussion of men that mentioned the same things as I said above so I thought, well if Oprah is saying it I better listen. When my husband returned home from his trip I said, "hey, I just want you to know how much I appreciate how hard you work, and all that you do for the family." He stopped, stared at me and said, "what the heck are you talking about and why are you acting so weird?" Perhaps I did not deliver the message correctly?

I don't know about you but these articles irritate me. All relationships take time and work, friendships, family relationships, and of course marriage. Relationships need to be nurtured to keep them healthy, like a plant, if your don't water it the plant will die. Marriage specifically is about two people and not just about one person that works hard all the time to make the other feel special. I think articles like these sometimes send the wrong message to young women that marriage is "all about men."

Maybe I am weird to be so irritated, but I have to tell you that when my husband has been out of town working, I haven't been sitting home with a book and a box of bon bon's. I am doing my job plus looking after my dogs, dealing with mundane house issues, like the heat going out or the probable mouse infestation(thankfully not), making appointments, sick relatives, and more. I certainly appreciate how hard my husband works but I don't feel as if I have to heap him with praise nor do I expect him to do it to me. 

That said, it is nice to feel appreciated, and special and each person in the relationship should do their best to do that for their significant other. Perhaps I would feel better if there were a few more articles stating the same things for women? Or for people in general, lets be kind, complimentary and grateful for all the people in our lives. Thanks for letting me rant and if you have anything to say on this topic do share your opinions. 

Have a great day!


  1. I love this discussion, my friend! There are many ways I can take this and ponder on it. First of all, why do we not see these kinds of ads for MEN to think about how they can please their wives, how they can praise their wives, etc.! I am just thinking out loud, but I do think people in general need reminders about how to treat each other. Sad, but SO TRUE. I also think someone got wind of the idea that this type of "advertising" would be profitable, so it has taken off....but too much can be, too much, and I think when it's a matter of the heart, the heart should lead. Like anything else, false praise can be detected and can be annoying, so we must individually listen to the MOMENT and act accordingly. Everything IS OVER publicized, isn't it!

  2. Amen, girlfriend! Have a great week!

  3. Great post my friend! As if we are suppose to worry that is we dont do what they tell us to make our husbands happy they can move on! 22 years here too and I am just happy that we can still make eachother laugh! xo K

  4. First, anything about doing something for wives, girlfriends, etc. probably isn't going to be in a place where the audience is mostly female. Second, when such things exist, they usually are presented in terms of, "buy this to make your wife/girlfriend happy." Everybody likes presents, but more than the spending is the thought behind it. And that's what's lacking.

  5. Those magazines at the checkout stands aren't worth the paper they're printed on.

  6. Even though it's been said I'll add my AMEN to this!

  7. Love this discussion! I just think kindness and a little appreciation is all what we all need. No fancy articles. :)

    Happy day friend!

  8. a wonderful rant elizabeth and i enjoyed coming along for the ride. bravo to every word typed and every sentiment mentioned

  9. I agree with you. We have been married for 48 years! I don't HEAP praise on my hubby but occassionally tell him that I appreciate him. I also compliment him when he dresses nicely to go somewhere. However, I could count on my fingers the times he has said that to me. I guess he is just not a demonstrative guy. I still wish he were though. I keep myself up, do my hair and make up every day and (according to my friends and neighbors) always dress very nicely. Maybe he is just used to it. This is a great topic for conversation. I am meeting a group of women for dinner Thurs. I am going to bring this up!


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